As you may know, Rabbi Michael and I recently moved into a new house. We spent the month of July packing up our belongings (kudos to Rabbi Michael for all the hard work he did), moved our stuff on July 21 (with special thanks to Hanoch Edelman’s, moving company Adam’s Moving and Hauling, who did an outstanding job), and then spent the next two weeks or so unpacking. Even before all the pictures were up on the wall, we had an opportunity to host guests.
Our first guests were young athletes who came to Philadelphia to compete in the 50th annual JCC Maccabi games. For five days, we provided them a decent place to sleep, a few meals, rides to and from their competition venues, and a great evening at a Reading Phillies game. For us, the highlight of their stay was the opening ceremony. About 1,100 Jewish teenagers, plus coaches and other volunteers from all over the world participated this year. During the opening ceremony everyone was together in the Pavilion at Villanova University. It was inspiring to be part of this event that attracts a wide cross-section of the Jewish community – observant, non-observant, affiliated, unaffiliated. It was an honor to care for our young guests, to get to know them and to open our brand new house to them.
After their 5-day stay ended, we welcomed our parents – both Rabbi Michael’s and mine. Rabbi Michael tells me that this was the first time that his parents ever slept over in his house, and that they usually stay in a hotel. This was perhaps the greatest honor of all – to share our new home with those who gave us our first homes as children, teenagers, college students and beyond.
When we first considered hosting guests, I felt overwhelmed. I knew that we wouldn’t be fully unpacked yet. I knew that we’d still be getting to know our new house and things could go wrong while they were here (and they did!). I knew that I have a high need for quiet and privacy. And yet, opening our home – first to strangers and then to our parents – seemed like the best possible thing we could do upon moving in. Rabbi Michael and I don’t live in a vacuum. We live in community. We live among others – we are who we are because of others – we, like everyone else, define ourselves and are defined in relationship to others. It turns out that opening our house to guests makes our new house even more ours than our apartment ever was, simply because we are able to now share our space.
In the Torah, Abraham and Sarah set the gold standard for hakhnasat orechim – welcoming guests. Shortly after Abraham’s circumcision, (at age ninety-nine!), as he was recovering outside in the shade of his tent, three strangers came by. Abraham immediately sprang up, washed their feet, asked Sarah to get some food cooking, and welcomed them in. Throughout Jewish history, the account of how Abraham and Sarah welcomed strangers set the tone for the rest of us.
I thought that having people over would be stressful, but the truth is that it was simply a joy. Being able to host, to share what I have, to invite someone into my space, gave me a feeling of expansiveness and openness, a sense of adventure, and a sense of deep honor. For the two weeks that we hosted, others counted on us to fill some of their basic needs and we were able to fill them. This is an incredibly powerful feeling.
Over the past year, I have been impressed with the work that our membership committee has done to make B’nai Jacob even more welcoming than it was before. The Shabbat Table initiative, where people sign up to either be guests or to host guests for Shabbat meals, is only one example of the way in which our congregation’s relationship with hakhnasat orechim – welcoming guests – is deepening. I’d like to make a suggestion to go one step further: invite someone over for a Shabbat meal. Or, call up the shul and tell Valerie that you’d like to be a guest at someone’s house for a Shabbat meal. Or, volunteer to help with meals at the synagogue – Family Shabbat meals on Friday nights or sponsoring a light Shabbat lunch on Saturday after services. Or, be bold and introduce yourself to someone you don’t already know the next time you walk into the synagogue. Hakhnasat orechim isn’t just a Jewish value, it’s a mitzvah – not only a good deed, but something that God, our tradition, our history, commands us to do.
When we allow ourselves to be someone’s guest, we help them to perform this mitzvah, and vice versa.
It is a pleasure, a joy and an honor to work with a congregation who values welcoming guests so highly. It took my moving into my own house, and a taste of being able to do the mitzvah of hakhnasat orechim – welcoming guests – to realize how profound it is that we do this so well at our shul.
As we begin this new year, brukhim haba’im – welcome – whether you are returning from the summer or joining us for the first time. Welcome!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012 at 11:42AM